I was raised in a conservative Southern Baptist church. My mother had been brought up in this tradition and I had no reason to think that either my parents thought anything different than what I was taught at church.

My mom’s faith was strong until the day she died. She had cancer and accepted her illness remarkably. She often said that God knew from the moment she was born when she would die. This was her life, and honestly, she used her illness to make relationships and share her faith with her doctors and nurses.

My father would on occasion mention he didn’t quite accept the Baptist ways. He, although still quite conservative, didn’t accept a seven day literal creation. He said once that God’s Will would be for the best life possible for His Children–but sometimes things happen differently. It isn’t God who wants the bad things to happen.

I think my Dad is open to me making sense of it all in my own way. He accepts the journey that faith can be.

Does the faith of  our parents play a role in our own faith?

1. Judith Says:
   June 22nd, 2009 at 4:26 pm

   Certainly, our parents’ faith has a big impact on us spiritually, especially in our early years. Along with their personal faith, the spiritual environment(s) they chose to expose or not expose us to count for a lot. Anne, I know you often talk about the way your childhood church strongly imprinted you. And Rosemary, you have had a wide variety of influences. Surely this helps us form our own way. We make mental notes about what we liked and didn’t like. We notice the things our parents approve and don’t approve of. We feel rebellious we we stake out new territory. And unfortunately, many of us (especially daughters) still seek our parents’ stamp of approval on our life decisions and religious choices. It is a psychological journey as well.

2. Anne Says:
   June 22nd, 2009 at 8:29 pm

   I worry that my doubts will some how reflect on my Mother’s legacy of faith. She had a great faith, and mine is nothing like hers. Can mine still be a great faith?

3. Judith Says:
   June 22nd, 2009 at 10:44 pm

   Anne, you may not practice your faith the same way as your mother, but you live it seriously. You grapple with the hard stuff, but you haven’t abandoned it. That honors what she gave you. And even if someday in the future you decide you must cast it off…you are leaving your own legacy.

4. Rosemary Says:
   June 23rd, 2009 at 7:26 pm

   Anne, I agree with what Judith says–you don’t have to have the same kind of faith as your mom, but you do take it seriously.

   Judith, yes, I definitely had some variety. We were members of so many different churches and of course visited even more. So from that I learned there was definitely more than one way to do church. That’s something my mother made very clear to me. On the other hand, my stepfather really seemed to believe there was only one way to do church, and if we didn’t go to his church we were unequivocally going to the wrong church. I think he softened in later years and at least seemed to concede that we were also true Christians even if we didn’t choose the same church. He also taught me so much about dealing with adversity and his faith held him up through many hardships (future post idea here about my great dislike of the proponents of “prosperity gospel”). Like Anne and her mother, I know my faith is not the same as my stepfather, but I still learn from his legacy.