I have friends with a wide range of opinions on religion, politics, life in general. Sometimes, more often than I should, I feel the need to explain my point of view. There are times where I just want them to see merit to other ways of thinking.

Today on facebook, a friend listed five things that she wants to go away forever. One is sin–ok, I can see that. Another one is the liberal media. I quickly thought out a well educated response–posted it and quickly deleted it.

What do you do? Try to inform others–or allow them to go along their merry way, but offend you.

1. Quinn Says:
   June 25th, 2009 at 4:10 pm

   This is something that I, being decidedly to the left of most of my friends and family in most matter political, theological, and otherwise have to think about a lot.

   I try to track down my motive when it comes to responses – Am I doing this to get a rise out of someone or to open dialogue. I find that, often and for whatever reason, when I raise dissenting points on the internet it is for the former reason. Typically in person, I do it to open genuine dialogue.

   I’m not sure why this is, and it doesn’t always work out that it’s in order to get a rise out of someone… just often enough that I’ve noticed the pattern. A pattern which has led to many a well thought out but deleted comment.

2. Anne Says:
   June 25th, 2009 at 8:46 pm

   I have been asked before if I was was trying to ruffle their feathers. That particular time I wasn’t.

   I am trying to think more before I post/say something–good thoughts Quinn. Thanks for posting them.

3. Rosemary Says:
   June 25th, 2009 at 10:26 pm

   I struggle with this, too. It’s easier for me to speak up to friends than it is to challenge family members–partially because the family seems like one big phalanx arrayed against me should I speak my mind. They are all of one mind in their conservative fundamentalism. My husband is not so closed minded as my family, but even he is sometimes shocked by me when I tell him what I really think. Also, as by far the youngest member of my family (of my generation) I think I’m often still viewed as “the baby” and I’m almost scolded for being silly when I express myself.

   Of course that’s why we started this blog–to have a place to speak our minds together.

4. Judith Says:
   June 29th, 2009 at 10:14 pm

   Anne, I don’t have your gift of speaking your mind–I have always admired it. I grew up in an extremely non-confrontational family where even the remote possibility of offending someone else was taken into consideration. I have honed the art of taking the middle road, which in many instances has served me well and I consider it a strength. I realize that hidden within this is a reluctance to share my true opinions on things. This year, a number of things have converged–getting older and more confident in myself, a commitment to be bolder, and the ease and frequency of people voicing their opinions on social internet sites–that have caused me to speak up (or at least type up!) a little more often. For now, my tactic is to address things I find potentially harmful, theologically wrongheaded, or just downright dumb. I try to phrase my comments tactfully, but it still often prompts a defensive response. Usually, I let this response go unanswered, as I have stated my opinion. I am not up for debating just yet!

5. michael Says:
   September 2nd, 2009 at 11:18 pm

   I came to realize that it is really important that we should know when we are going to comment and when are we going to keep quiet.

   I sometimes stay quiet, and always consider the feelings of the person.

6. Judith Says:
   September 3rd, 2009 at 9:50 pm

   Thanks, Michael, for reminding me of this important thread. I am really struggling right now with this very issue. I am deeply disturbed about the backlash the President is getting over his plan to speak to school children next week. The message is infuriating to me…all this talk about the President–The President of the United States!–indoctrinating children with his socialist agenda. Comparing him to Hugo Chavez, Saddam Hussein, Kim Jong-Il! AAAGGGHHHH! (I am venting a little here while still contemplating the best way to respond.)