Growing up, the notion of a child like faith was often praised.  I thought it was odd and irresponsible, even as a child.  Those who know me would say that is so me.  I have often thought and over thought much of life.  I didn’t doubt faith as a child, yet I thought it was something to be studied and not taken lightly.

Oh today I long for the faith of my childhood.   I wanted answers, yet I didn’t feel the answers would lead to disbelief.  I felt it would lead to understanding.  In my studying and struggle of adulthood, I have found more questions.  Lately those questions have been clouded with the darkness of unbelief. I WANT to believe.  I want the mysterious peace at passes all understanding.  The loss of faith saddens me.

1. Rosemary Says:
   December 14th, 2009 at 10:30 pm

   Anne, I know where you’re coming from. I often feel like if I were to label myself I’d say I’m an “agnostic Christian”. I don’t know how so many of my Christian friends can believe everything their church teaches without seeming to waver. I know you also have some of those friends who seem so very faithful–to us blindly faithful. And sometimes I envy that even though I admit to also looking down my nose on them most of the time (as if I am some intellectual giant, which I am not).